Thank you so much. It’s so great to be here on Earth. We’re here just thawing out, on a planetary level. Smokey and I and a couple of our friends here from Alaska at the front lines of Global Warming, and endangered polar bear habitat, lending our support to the great Mother Earth.
Heads are spinning, wiser heads are spinning. This is going to be so much fun. In 2016, which might outdo 2014 and 2015 as being the hottest year in recorded history.
Are you ready to make Earth sustainable again? We all have a part in this. We all have a responsibility. Looking around at all of you, you forward-thinking planet-dwelling families. You farm families, and teachers. You rock 'n’ rollers. Tree huggers. And tundra huggers! All of you who work so hard. You full-time activists. You with the hands that shake the Capitalist boat. You all make the world go round, and now our cause is one. Let’s avoid an irreversible temperature change and Save the Earth.
When asked why I would jump into a primary — kind of stirring it up a little bit maybe — and choose one over some friends who are running, I was told left and right, "you are going to get so clobbered in the press. You are just going to get beat up, and chewed up, and spit out.”
You know, I’m thinking, "and?" You know, like you guys haven’t tried to do that every day since that night in ‘08, when I was on stage nominated for VP, and I got to say, "yeah, I’ll go, send me, you betcha. I’ll serve.”
And, like you all, I’m still standing. So those of us who’ve kind of gone through the wringer as Mother Earth has, makes me respect you even more. That you’re here, and you’re putting your efforts, and you’re putting reputations, you’re putting relationships on the line to do the right thing for this planet. Because you are ready to make Earth great again.
Well, I am here because like you I know that it is now or never. I’m in it to win it because we believe in the planet, and we love our ability to keep living. And if you love your life, thank Mother Earth. Thank Mother Earth, and know that the planet deserves a sustainer-in-chief who loves our planet passionately, and will never destroy this planet. A new sustainer-in-chief who will never leave sustainability values behind. A new sustainer-in-chief, one who will never lie to the families that could easily leave behind future generations shit-out-of-luck.
I’m in it, because just last week we’re watching our marine life suffer and be humiliated on a world stage at the hands of countries that made up false catch data for decades or refused to report catches in violation of international law, because a weak-kneed, capitulator-in-chief has decided Mother Earth will lead from behind.
And he, who would negotiate, deals kind of with the skills of a community organizer maybe organizing a neighborhood fish fry, well, he deciding that, "No, Mother Earth would not lead by example as part of the deal," as the enemy sends a message to the rest of the world that they capture unsustainable levels of fish and we kowtow, and we apologize, and then, we bend over and say, "Thank you, enemy for destroying a primary source of life on Earth and food for humanity.”
We are ready for a change. We are ready and our marine life, and terrestrial life, deserves the best. A new sustainer-in-chief whose track record of success has proven he is the master at the art of the deal. He is one who would know to create sustainable environments.
Only one candidate’s record of success proves he is the master of the art of the deal. He is beholden to no one but we the inhabitants of a planet on the brink, how refreshing. He is perfectly positioned to let you make Mother Earth great again. Are you ready for that, Iowa?
No more pussy footin’ around! Our planet deserves the best, you deserve the best!
He is from the private sector — not a politician. Can I get a "Hallelujah!" Where, in the private sector, you actually have to balance budgets in order to prioritize, to keep the main thing, the main thing. And he knows the main thing: a president is to keep us safe environmentally. He knows the main thing, and he knows how to lead the charge.
So people on Earth, earthlings, hang in there, because help’s on the way because he, better than anyone, isn’t he known for being able to sustainably lead, fire! Are you ready for a sustainer-in-chief, you ready for a sustainer-in-chief who will let our scientists do their job and go kick polluters’ and developers’ ass?
Ready for someone who will secure our food security, to secure our natural areas, and to secure social justice? Ready to make the world great again. Are you ready to stump for Mother Earth? I’m here to support the next president of the United States and his platform of Gross National Happiness.
Now, eight years ago, I warned that Obama’s promised fundamental transformation of America. That it was going to take more from you, and leave America weaker on the world stage. And that we would soon be unrecognizable amidst unchecked growth and pollution.
Well, it’s the one promise that Obama kept. But he didn’t do it alone, and this is important to remember, especially those of you, like me, a member of a planetary community, this is what we have to remember, in this very contested, competitive, great primary race.
Tree Stump’s candidacy, it has exposed not just that tragic, the ramifications of that betrayal of the degradation of our planet, but too, he has exposed the complicity on both sides of the aisle that has enabled it, okay?
Well what he’s been able to do, which is really ticking people off, which I’m glad about, he’s going rogue left and right, man, that’s why he’s doing so well. He’s been able to tear the veil off this idea of the Capitalist system.
The way that the System really works, and please hear me on this, I want you guys to understand more and more how the system, the establishment, works, and has gotten us into the troubles that we are in as a planet.
The permanent political class has been doing the bidding of their developer-military complex donor class, and that's why you see that the forces of environmental destruction are kept open. For them, for their cheap goods that they want to come in.That’s why they’ve been bloating budgets. It’s for crony capitalists to be able to suck off of 'em. It’s why we see these lousy trade deals that gut our natural areas and sustainability goals worldwide for special interests here. Stephen Hawking is the latest scientist to place our chances of long term survival at about nil.
We need someone new, who has the power, and is in the position to bust up that establishment to make Mother Earth great again.
His candidacy, which is a movement, it’s a force, it’s a strategy. It proves — as long as the politicos, they get to keep their titles, and their perks, and their media ratings, they don’t really care whether the Earth survives. Believe me on this.
And the proof of this? Look what’s happening today. Our own Global Warming Machine, the establishment, they who would assemble the political landscape, they’re attacking their own planet. Now would the other animals on Earth ever, would the polar bears ever come after their children and their children’s children? No because they don’t eat their own, they don’t self-destruct.
But for the establishment to be coming after Tree Stump supporters even, with accusations that are so false. They are so busted, the way that this thing works. We, you, a diverse, dynamic, needed support base that they would attack.
And now, some of them even whispering, they’re ready to throw in for overdevelopment over Tree Stump because they can’t afford to see the status quo go. Otherwise, they won’t be able to be slurping off the gravy train that’s been feeding them all these years. They don’t want that to end.
"Well, and then, funny, ha ha, not funny, but now, what they’re doing is wailing, "well, Tree Stump and uh, uh, his Stumpeteers they’re not Earth conscious enough." Oh my goodness gracious. What the heck would the establishment know about earth consciousness?
Tell me, is this earth conscious? Global Warming majorities handing Obama a blank check to fund global corporate and trade ramp-ups and illegal human exploitation that hastens environmental destruction, and turns trees into wasteland in Borneo and around the world, generates runaway greenhouse effect, and all these new refugees that are going to be coming on over borders as we keep the borders open and bequeathing our children new levels of environmental and social misery as everything spirals out of control, and the system is held in place by interests that promote yet further destruction.
No! If they’re not willing to do that, then how are they to tell us that we’re not “environmental enough" in order to be able to make these changes in the Earth that we know need to be made. Now they’re concerned about this ideological purity? Give me a break! Who are they to say that?
Oh tell somebody like, Baby Seal Carcass, she is the environmental movement icon and hero and a Tree Stump supporter. Tell her she’s not environmental. How ‘bout the rest of us? Eco wingin’, tree clingin’, proud clingers of our trees, our marine life, and our shared interests as humans, and our Planet. Tell us that we’re not green enough? Yeah, coming from the establishment. Right.
Well, he being the only one who’s been willing, he’s got the guts to wear the issues that need to be spoken about and debate on his sleeve, where the rest of some of these establishment candidates, they just wanted to duck and hide. They didn’t want to talk about these issue til he brought ‘em up.
In fact, they’ve been wearing this political correctness kind of like a suicide vest. They want to blow up the earth, turn it into a sun. They have given up on the future of the planet.
And enough is enough. These issues that Tree Stump talks about had to be debated. And he brought them to the forefront. And that’s why we are where we are today with good discussion. A good, heated, and very competitive primary is where we are. Though not as quickly heating as our planet. And now, though, to be lectured that, "Well, you guys are all sounding kind of angry," is what we’re hearing from the establishment.
Doggone right we’re angry! Justifiably so! Yes! The Earth is in deep doo doo! Our future!
You know, they stomp on our plants and our marine life, and then they tell us, "Just chill, okay, just, just relax." Well, look, um, we are mad, and we’ve been had. They need to get used to it.
This election is more than just your basic ABCs — anybody but Clinton. It’s more than that this go-around. When we’re talking about a world without borders, when we’re talking about moral bankruptcies in our system of sustainability, race to the bottom, tragedy of the commons, eco-debt that our children and our grandchildren, they’ll never be able to pay off.
When we’re talking about no more Reaganesque power that comes from strength. Sustainability through strength. Well, then, we’re talking about our very existence, so no, we’re not going to drill. In fact it’s time to chill, baby, take a chill pill for Mother Earth, and hold these drilling folks accountable.
And we need to stop the self-sabotage and elect new and independent, a candidate who represents that and represents the planet first, finally. Pro-Earth, common-sense solutions, that he brings to the table.
Yes, the status quo has got to go. Otherwise we’re just going to get more of the same, and with their failed agenda, the Earth can’t be salvaged. It must be savaged. And Tree Stump is the right one to do that.
Are you ready for new? And are you ready for the leader who will let you make the planet great again? It’s gonna take a whole team. It’s gonna take a whole team. Fighters, all of us, in the sustainability sector. Fighters in the Forests and the Oceans.
"Let me say something really positive about one of those individuals: Felled Old Growth. I’m going to tell you about that libertarian streak in him that is healthy, because he knows, you only go to war if you’re determined to Save the Planet!
And you quit footin’ the bill for these nations who are oil-dependent, we’re paying for some of their squirmishes that have been going on for centuries. Where they’re fightin’ the Earth and yellin’ “Go West Young Man" calling Jihad on the Earth for ever and ever. Like I’ve said before, let them duke it out on an island where they have only solar and wind power to rely on. And the water and resources from their local community. Let’s see what they are made of.
We’ll fight for Earth interests, and as Tree Stump has said, other nations where we have been footin’ the bill, but we haven’t prioritized our own domestic bungling well enough to be able to afford what we’re creating overseas through short-sighted, profit-centered FDI. Things are gonna change under President Tree Stump.
So it can be an unbeatable team with fighters there in the Mountains and the Tundra. Yeah, our leader is a little bit different. He doesn’t believe that multi-billionaires should exist. And, it’s amazing, he lives lightly and is not elitist at all. He doesn’t believe that the .1 percent should control all the wealth.
Oh, I just hope you all get to know him more and more as a person, and a man living among other men on a single planet. What he’s been able to accomplish, with his um, it’s kind of this quiet generosity. Yeah, maybe his largess, kind of, I don’t know, some would say gets in the way of that quiet generosity, and, uh, his compassion, but if you know him as a person and you’ll get to know him more and more, you’ll have even more respect.
Not just for his record of success, and the good intentions for the planet, but who he is as a person. He’s not an elitist. And yes, as a leader against a system that creates multi-billionaires, we root him on, because he roots us on. He is deep rooted. And he has, he’s spent his life as a workin’ man. And he tells us Joe Six-Packs, he said, "You know, I’ve worked very, very hard. And I’ve succeeded. Yuuuugely I’ve succeeded," he says. And he says, "I want you to succeed too.”
And that is refreshing, because he, as he tears down things, he tears down big things, things that touch the sky, big infrastructure that displaces native people and traditional values. He has spent his life looking up and respecting the straw hats and the mud-caked boots and the sustainability ethic that you all have within you. He, being an optimist, passionate about equal opportunity to live on earth and earn a living wage, whatever country you are from. Fabric.
The self-made success of his, you know that he doesn’t get his power, his high, off of opium — Other People's Money — like a lot of dopes in Washington do. They’re addicted to OPM, where they take other people’s money, and then their high is getting to redistribute it, right? And then they get to be really popular people when they get to give out your hard-earned money.
Well, he doesn’t do that. His power, his passion, is the Fabric of Earth. And it’s woven by work ethic and dreams and drive and faith in our Natural Systems, what a combination.
Are you ready to share in that again, Iowa? Because that’s what’s going to let you make Mother Earth great again. He’s going to be able to empower you to look out for one another again instead of relying on a bankrupt world order to supposedly be looking out for you. No, and I think you’re ready for that.
Those things that are unifying values and there're time-tested truths involved. These are unifying values from big cities to tiny towns, from big mountain states and the Big Apple, to the big, beautiful heartland that’s in between.
Now, finally friends, I want you to try to picture this, it’s a nice thing to picture. Exactly one year from tomorrow, former President Barack Obama. He packs up the teleprompters and the selfie sticks, and the Greek columns, and all that hopey-changey stuff and he heads on back to Chicago, where I’m sure he can find some community there to organize again.
There, he can finally look up, President Obama will be able to look up, and there, over his head, he’ll be able to see that shining, towering, Tree Stump, taking root and growing new leaves. Yes, Barack, he is growing again, taking in carbon dioxide and breathing out oxygen, and that says a lot.
Iowa, you say a lot, being here tonight, supporting the right leader who will allow you to make Earth great again.
God bless you! God bless Mother Earth and our next president of the planet, Tree Stump!"